….. for Relationship Issues may be the answer you’ve been searching for.
You have come to the right place….
…if you are seeking clarity in your mind and understanding, peace in your heart, the confidence that comes with knowing what to do, feeling sure about who you are and what you want in relationships, and how to get what you want, the right skills to build healthy relationships, recognizing the red flags of toxic relationships, and knowing how to manage them…read on…
Individual therapy can be very helpful in bringing clarity and gaining insight into how and why things happened the way they did in your relationships.
Understanding the problem is the bridge to change.
Once you reach that understanding, we can then start working together on a strategy for improving your relationships with others and with yourself.
How therapy can help?
My approach to individual relationship therapy utilizes Bowen Family Systems Theory. According to this therapy model, symptoms develop and are maintained in relationships – whether we talk about depression, anxiety, addictions, kids misbehavior, couples communication, conflict or other issues. We interact with others constantly and by doing so, we influence and are influenced by the nature of these interactions.
One reason I love this approach is that one can change a whole family system, simply by working on themselves. This is powerful therapy! I have personally experienced the outcomes of this approach in my life as it helped me become the adult that I am today, feeling free, empowered, in charge of myself and my decisions, and free to choose how I respond in difficult situations or in interactions with difficult people, whether they are family members, friends, children, or co-workers.
Bowen Family systems therapy is the therapy that keeps on giving for months and years after you terminate therapy simply because once you become aware of something, you can’t un-do that. Therefore, the benefits will continue to stay with you and guide you as you move forward in life.
Not changing becomes impossible.
What all this looks like in our sessions:
- We use what is called a genogram of your family to take an in-depth look at your family relationships, explore existing boundaries, patterns of interaction and identify the source of dysfunction. Much like a doctor uses x-Rays to diagnose your problem a genogram will show what is happening in your relational life and most importantly will guide where and how to intervene.
- We will explore the impact of significant events on your relationships with significant others and yourself – trauma, accidents, sudden deaths, illnesses – leave a mark on ourselves and can change our relationships, can influence the way we look at ourselves, others and our views of the world;
- We will work to change unhelpful patterns and replace them with desirable ones, chosen consciously; that way you can be more in control of how your relationships happen. Yes! That’s possible.
- Decrease reactivity by learning how to choose mindful responses to those heated situations when one word/hint or gesture takes you from 0 to 100 in a split second. Imagine yourself cruising through hectic family gatherings cool and collected like a Zen Master.
- Increase your sense of self as a differentiated being with your own thoughts, emotions, opinions, actions and attitudes, different than those of others. This will give you a sense of empowerment and feeling grounded in knowing what you are about, what you want and what to do. This means no more people pleasing, no more dependency or co-dependency, no more toxic relationships, no more second guessing yourself, no more waiting for others to validate your feelings to feel good about yourself or to get your needs met. No more. Done with that.
- Achieve a well-defined identity in different roles and areas of your life.
- Build authentic connections and improve the quality of your relationships with family members.
- Resolve conflict and differences in a way that doesn’t hurt your relationship.
- Nurture fulfilling relationships and become that healed person that heals people instead of a “hurt person that hurts people.” Traumas happen in relationships and they also heal in relationships.
Don’t allow the next holiday season to bring you down again because your relationships need work. This Christmas, start gift-giving early! Let your significant others know how much they mean to you by giving them the gift of repaired relationships. Wouldn’t it be nice if your partner listened to your needs, if your parents actually came to your holiday dinner AND everyone got along, if your adult sister wouldn’t use every chance she gets to make you feel bad or if your mother showed gratitude and appreciation instead of criticizing?
Relationships are complicated. Don’t lose yourself. Get a therapist.